One last Birth Story

I always like to write my children's birth stories so I can read back one day and remember the details of how they came into this world.  I'm fairly sure nothing changes your life quite like the moment your child is born and you become this tiny persons mother.  For me, they have been the most emotional  moments of my life, right alongside marrying my husband.  I always get emotional writing about the birth day, but maybe this is the most emotional one-because it is the last one.  I knew this entire pregnancy it would be my last, and I knew I would long to freeze the moment of Audrey's birth to some extent.  But alas, that is not possible.  Most mothers I speak to understand my emotions regarding this last birth.  There is a huge difference between wanting to experience pregnancy and childbirth AGAIN, versus being nostalgic for those moments with your existing children.  Mine is definitely the latter.  I have been asked several times, surprisingly, following Audrey's birth if there will be just one more baby, maybe try for a sister for Audrey, etc.  No folks, just no.  Despite the physical plights of pregnancy, this last one was such a sweet journey of love and celebration, and yes despite my biggest efforts to turn my nose up at such statements, "I got my girl".  I didn't know "my girl" existed until I met her, and until that moment she just as joyfully could have been a boy.  However, the moment I saw and held my daughter, I knew all along I had meant to have her, and any fears I'd had about not bonding with a girl like I had my boys, or her being just "daddy's girl" vanished.  I fell in love hard on May 29, 2013.

Let me back up a little and explain what life looked like before little Audrey made her appearance.  A week before she was born at my checkup I was 2cm dilated and doctor told me it was unlikely I'd go to due date since I hadn't with either of the boys.  They were both born around 39 weeks.  At this point I was just over 38 weeks, and had not reached "miserable" status yet.  Close but not yet!  Well the weekend rolled around and we spent a lot of time outside with the boys since it was so warm.  By late afternoon on Sat I started to feel crampy and nauseous.  It was time to sit down to dinner and I felt so sick I just went to the couch and started having uncomfortable contractions.  They were on average about 10 min apart and lasted for a good four hours.  I was in pain and uncomfortable so Jake and I felt I needed to be checked so we called our neighbors to come over around 930pm to be with the boys.  I was disappointed because I felt very unsure if I was in labor or not but felt after so long I had to go in.  So Jake and I grabbed our bag and made our way to the hospital.  I got into a labor/delivery room and was still 2cm.  They told me I was severely dehydrated and to drink a ton of water and walk around the halls to see if I would progress.  After about 2 hours, I was checked and was 3 cm.  It would appear I was in labor (had been contracting now since about 5pm and it was now 1130pm).  I had contractions at this point about 4 minutes apart and was exhausted.  Around 130am they checked me again and I had no change.  One nurse said I was not in active labor, another thought I was just progressing very slowly.  They said I should stay and be monitored to see what might happen because they were nervous that if I did get to 4cm and this being my third baby, that things would then happen fast.  They wanted me to get some rest because by this time it was 3am and I was exhausted and emotional and nobody seemed to know if I should go home or stay in the hospital.  I was in too much pain to sleep so they gave me some morphine to take the edge off my contractions.  Around 5am I finally fell asleep and Jake got a few minutes here and there on the couch in the room.


This is me arriving at the hospital on Sat, May 25.  It wasn't the last moment I was pregnant but I thought it could be.  It was the last pregnant photo I'll ever take.


Well the morphine did help me sleep but only for about 3 hours.  I woke around 830am and knew without a doubt my labor had stalled and i would not be having a baby immediately.  The doctor was still nervous to send me home, but I knew without a doubt I wanted to go home and come back and have a good birth day, not a frustratingly long 9 hours of contractions with little result.  I would be leaving the hospital without a baby this time.  I rested a bit more, ordered breakfast, that I promptly threw up due to the morphine, and then was more than ready to go.  At this point my mom had already made arrangements to fly out that night (Sunday) because she was sure I would have a baby sooner than later.  The nurses said they thought I'd be back by evening and no more than two days from then.  Well Sunday night came around, we picked up mom from the airport and officially began "baby watch".  It was awful and was like waiting for a pot of water to boil!

I continued contracting at least a few times an hour all of Sunday and Monday.  On Monday and Tuesday I had many pre-labor symptoms and was so miserable and grouchy.  Fortunately my mom was here and helping, but I also felt like I was never going to have the baby and was nervous she wouldn't even come before my moms full week here in Denver was up.  On Tuesday I had an OB checkup and was still 3cm and my doctor was pretty surprised I was still pregnant. I was 39 weeks, 4 days.  He said it would likely be any time but there is just never any telling with these things!  I came home more grumpy, had the "I'm so done" cry and actually felt better.  Mom and I planned to go to the mall the next day (Wed) for a good walk, get the kids out and have lunch.  I slept horribly Tuesday night, which was not unusual.

I woke up around 730am on Wednesday morning when Leo woke up and we came downstairs and watched some "Super Why" with mom. (Hip Hip hooray, the super readers saved the day).  Over the past few days I'd had continuous contractions and little sleep so was exhausted.  I was holding Leo no my lap at 7:55am when I had a VERY painful contraction.  By now, mom, Jake and I had a rule that nobody could predict when Audrey would come, nor say "I think this is it."  When by 8:15am I'd had VERY painful contractions every 5 minutes, my mom just raised her eyebrows at me but I knew she wanted to say something.  I got Dylan and Leo some breakfast and went to sit at the table with them, but by now was clutching it in pain barely able to get on my chair.  My mom suggested I go upstairs and get changed and call my doctor.  I didn't argue.  I called Jake and told him I'd been having painful contractions for an hour, and I was sorry if I was wrong, but thought he should come home from work.  He has about a 45 minute commute.  I then called my doctor and by the time I spoke to them I was literally on the floor writhing in pain and had little doubt "it was time."  When I found out the doctor doing deliveries from my OB office was Dr. Levy, I truly cried and thanked God.  I knew then it had all been perfect timing, because he had delivered my boys, and what were the odds he would deliver all my children.  I was thrilled and so relieved. In between contractions, I did what all sane people do at this time-my hair and makeup. By 10am Jake was home, I was now nearly crying on the floor downstairs (but looking much better doing so) and we left for the hospital.  I thank God my mom ended up coming early because the boys were home with grandma and content.  No scary goodbyes or drama on any one's part.

The drive to the hospital was miserable but exciting.  I prayed I would be further dilated upon arriving at the hospital, and was a very hostile passenger on the way, with contractions nearly on top of each other.  Jake dropped me off at the front of the hospital around 1030am and I entered the hospital movie style hunched over declaring "I'M IN LABOR."  Jake parked quickly, the got us up to labor and delivery where I was quickly checked and at 7 cm.  The epidural was on its way, the anesthesiologist got it in quickly, and within an hour I was 10cm.

Shockingly my water didn't break which was good because the doctor was in an emergency c-section.  When he did come in he broke my water and it was time to push.  Because I was dehydrated from not drinking or eating since the night before and a lower body weight this pregnancy, I had a very low dose of the epidural and pushing was painful but fleeting.  From start to finish I had a four hour labor, and at 1218pm on May 29, 2013 Audrey Rose was born.  I asked if she was healthy, YES, and if she was in fact a girl, YES.  She was the first baby I did immediate skin to skin with and I nursed her immediately.  She was alert and thriving and I was in Heaven on Earth.

No matter what all the tests and ultrasounds say, you never can really take that full breath until you hold your baby, count their fingers and toes, kiss their tiny nose.  Like her brothers, Audrey was born with dark hair and lots of it!  She was beautiful and I loved her instantly.  I immediately thanked the Lord for bringing me three healthy pregnancies resulting in three healthy children.  I thanked him for my husband, always my biggest supporter and cheerleader everyday, and only more so in labor and delivery.  This birth was such a happy experience, laughing, crying, and excited between contractions until the last push, with a doctor who had been there with us at every miracle of life we had experienced!  As I held Audrey, I was in awe that I now had three children, and thought back to that moment in 2008 when I thought maybe children were not in the cards for me, when infertility seemed to define me for a period of time.  I'm so grateful our journey turned out much differently.  In 3.5 years I had 3 kids.  My little miracles.  Audrey and I were perfectly healthy after delivery and were moved to a recovery room soon after.  Upon leaving the labor and delivery room at Rose Hospital, Jake took a picture of me signing "peace out" because we knew we would not be back.  We also took a final picture in recovery before we left to go home.

So that is the birth story of Audrey Rose-the long version.  I know it seems long and detailed and that is because this is really for my own memory.  Again, I thank God everyday for the safe delivery of each of my children into my arms, and I shall do my best to remember the blessing that having three healthy beautiful children really is, despite the lack of sleep, tantrums, attitude, lack of patience.  Today I had a thought-yes, having  three young kids will no doubt be trying at times, but I feel confident that not all will be difficult all day on any given day, and so my odds of at least one of them, or all of them, bringing me even one moment of joy everyday is very very high.  It's so worth it.  Now I must bid adieu to birth stories, and go raise some kiddos!!!