Long time no write...

Yes, yes this blog still exists, though it has been on a hiatus since November.  I did not stop blogging on purpose it just slowly seemed to creep out of the routine as I got busier during the day and more tired at night.  I cannot promise to myself of my thousands (um maybe 10) of readers that I will consistently be blogging again but for tonight I shall post.

I wanted to reflect a moment on the fact that I have now lived in Colorado for FIVE years.  I cannot believe it has been so long, gone so fast, and how much has happened.  Jake and I always aspired to get out of Tucson, AZ and move somewhere that had a bigger city, more employment opportunities, cooler weather, and overall just a new place to start our lives together.  We chose Colorado somewhat quickly being that it was as far East as I was willing to move and seemed to offer us much of what we were looking for.  I hopped on a plane in May 2007 for a job interview, did not get it, and a week later made the trip again for another interview and nailed it!  Thank you Andrie Leday for giving Jake and I one of the biggest breaks of our life by hiring a nervous 23 year-old in a smart white suit who had nothing to lose.  The week of July 4th of 2007 Jake made the trip to Colorado solo to land a job (he did) and find us a house to rent (he did....and I hated it).  Moral of the story though, is that on July 11, 2007 we loaded what was left of our young life into the Penske and said goodbye to Arizona.

I'd love to say I left and never looked back with regret but that just would not be true.  First of all, I had to leave Stacey and I felt like my heart was being ripped out.  We both cried until we sobbed with promises that we would make it work, we were different than other best friends, we really WOULD visit, it would be okay.  Thankfully we have both stuck to that promise and not a year has gone by where we have not made a trip to see each other whether its me going to Arizona or her coming to Colorado.  To some people, a best friend is just a friend, but to me Stacey is my sister, an aunt to my children, simply put-she's family!

Like many things in life reality often does not match expectation and that is how much of the last five years in Colorado has been for me.  We had the big city but we did not often venture downtown, we had all four seasons, but I hated driving in the snow, we had this new life together but we had no friends. I was homesick...for like three years.  Change is really hard and meeting new friends when you are no longer in school is hard.  I had a great new job in sales but I did not work in an office so I never got to know very many people well.  At times I was horribly lonely.  I remember having my baby shower when I was pregnant with Dylan and being so sad all of my good friends in Arizona could not be there and being acutely aware I had not made many new ones in Colorado.  I knew that there was so much life to embrace in Colorado but was struggling to figure out how.  By the summer of 2010 I decided I was unhappy enough to want to move back to Arizona, and Jake said he would do whatever made me happy.  I put in for a transfer with work and was told if an opening came up it was pretty much mine.  We waited patiently...sort of.  In the winter of 2010 I got notice that I could come to Arizona for an interview with the manager there.  This was around the holidays and I would go in the New Year.  Well the New Year came and I was notified that there would be some changes in the company and any and all hiring and transfers was on hold.  I was very disappointed and felt the opportunity would never come....and it didn't.  In February of 2011 my company did a large layoff and my job in Colorado was spared but many people in Arizona lost their jobs.  I felt relieved that the transfer hadn't worked out because I knew I would have lost my job, but also sad because I knew a transfer was not in my future.

Jake and I spoke long and hard about the future, about why we wanted to leave Colorado when our life here had only flourished.  We both had good jobs, we had bought our first home, had a child, and now another on the way.  Maybe Colorado wasn't the problem, maybe we needed to make this work.  God knew what he was doing even if I didn't.  2011 continued on as did my pregnancy, and in September Leo was born and I was on maternity leave.  I went back to work for two weeks in December to finish out the year and in January 2012 I officially quit my job that I got paid for to be home full time with my kids.  My whole world has opened up since that time.  I knew that I was going to need to reach out and find support and make friends if I wanted to keep my sanity or ya know, have a conversation with someone other than a two year old all day.  I got over much of my shyness and went to moms groups, made new friends, started socializing, started LIVING life in Colorado.

I don't mean it to sound like Jake and I never had friends the whole time we have been here, that is not the case.  I just realize what a learning experience it is to move to a new place and to not know anybody and to build a new network of support and socialization.  We would not have made it without Doug and Shellie, our kind neighbors and dear friends.  Doug showed up the day we moved into our house a completely stranger and helped us move our stuff in.  At the time they had a 10 year old daughter and a 12 year old son.  Jake and I were childless.  Five years later their son is driving and their daughter is going to start high school.  Jake and I are now a family of four.  They spent the whole day I was in labor with Dylan by my side laughing, crying, and praying with us.  They were the first to visit us in the hospital after Leo was born.  Dylan knows them better than anyone outside our immediate family.  They have been there for us in so many ways and still are.  I feel so happy I can write about our life in Colorado after five years and see how quickly it went from uncertain to amazing.  I have made so many new friends this last year and truly feel Colorado is home.  I miss  Stacey in Arizona but she is never too far.  I know now that I will never move back.  Besides being a billion degrees, it is my past, not my future.  I know that the people there that want to remain in my life will always be in my heart and only a call, text, or plane ride away (I love to visit AZ in Winter when I'm about done with the snow) I know that some people need to be let go of and be a part of the past.  My life is here with my family and I can't wait to see what happens the next five years.  I am glad that God knew better than I did what lie ahead when I felt so lost.

Thank you to all my Arizona friends whom I still have such special friendships with.  Thank you to my Colorado friends who have made this place home.  You all know who you are!  Thank you to my husband for always saying "whatever will make you happy"!  Love, Kim :)